one car, one driver, and one navigator

 Over the years many theologians have referred to this thing we call life as a road. A road that contains many different hills, bridges, tunnels, and well...you get the picture. I agree, personally my life is like a road,  I am a driver in a car, with one navigator, whom recently I had taken an extensive long road trip with to YWAM. Thank goodness that the Lord was with me on this trip because other wise I don't think I would have been able to navigate my way through this journey. Man did God and I ever have some great adventures on this trip. He never ceased to amaze me. I found myself sometimes just singing along with Him while we were driving, or other times having a good chat with him. All though trust was something that I had to build. For a long time  I tried to do both the driving and navigating, and when I would let him navigate I was so worried about getting the directions right, that I forgot that He is a God of grace. That was one of the biggest things I think he taught me on this trip, grace. For so long I never felt good enough, like I had to strive to be loved. And oh man did He want to teach me that I was totally wrong. Sometimes I just wanted to get out of the car and say I'm not going any further, this is far enough, lets just hang out here where we will both feel comfortable."but he would simple tell me "Jess, get stay in the car, I am with you, and I want you to get to know the real me more, and you to forget all the walls you have put up and simply live with me." To my surprise this road trip took me to Haiti, the one place I didn't want to go, the one place where I didn't feel I had a "heart" for. But that was changed, and I was changed. And now after a long journey my Friend and I have taken a little break back at home. over the past week of being home I have been processing everything that has been going on in my mind and what is to come next, I question if I am doing the right thing, I question if I am ready for the adventure ahead. One thing stands out to me from my lecture phase at this moment, and that was one of our speakers told us that sometimes we are liked parked car, just waiting to go somewhere and do the will of our Father, but unless we get in turn the car on and start moving nothing may happen. I am done with being a parked car, done! Lord fill up my tank and lets drive!!! whether that's back to Haiti or just here at home. If you have skipped that whole spiel please just read this: one thing I have learnt over the course of my adventure is that sometimes we pray for God's kingdom to come on earth but we don't see that sometimes He has already given the answer.... US!!!! It is one of the most hideous schemes that the enemy tries to use to win, and believe me I know. I myself have fallen into this trap. For example many times I  have seen a homeless person and have prayed "Lord comfort the today, may they just know that you love them."and walk past. hoping that the Lord will answer that prayer by giving them a sense of peace... umm hello no. Sometime WE are supposed to be the answers to those prayers. Jesus didn't just tell the disciples to "pray"for those who will go into the world (all though don't take it that I am saying to stop praying for you missionaries, believe me they need lost of prayers!) He said GO into the world preach the gospel. We are called to be his hands and feet, prayer is one of the most important this to do, but I think many people including myself have forgotten that we are supposed to move too, whether its across the seas, or in your own hometown. We are called to pray and to be living examples of who Jesus is. I hope that at some point I will fully understand that I will have no fear to move when God tells me to. There will be many little stories that I will be posting about my trip, probably some funny stories as well as some crazy ones, maybe even some sad ones. thank you for taking the time to read this intro, and my heart.
love Jess